I'm a guy with alphabetized books and almost humorously well organized briefcase; I've got pockets and places for almost everything in my life. When our church in Ely was burglarized years ago, it was a slightly out of place pencil jar on my desk alerting me to the break-in. Without hint of exaggeration, my pencil jar was three inches to the right of its assigned space and I knew something was up.Isn't that pathological?
I've never had a great memory for detail and so I've learned to compensate for this weakness by almost compulsive organization. I structure things in such a way so as not to lose or forget the important stuff I need to do.
But compulsive organization and control isn't such a good thing when you're begging God for surprise, is it? I'm sure a smarter, more spiritual guy could accomplish it, but I've never been very good at allowing surprise or spontaneity. It is tricky to organize and control your way to a life filled with surprises. God must usually move and speak more bluntly to me...
Yesterday's surprises were many. A woman called in tears needing baby formula. A man called looking for any help he could get with food until the end of the month. I had a wonderful lunch with my good friend Rob who honestly shared his struggles to forgive someone hurting a person he loves. We both admitted the often terrible difficulty of forgiving others as we should. When I returned to the office, a young man buzzed at the door and, after a frustrating few minutes, Nancy sent me to speak with him because he didn't speak English. Interestingly, it turned out he was from Quito, Ecuador; looking for food, clothing and socks especially. I took this kid (from Monica's hometown) up to our Hope Avenue clothes closet and got him some clothes, but we couldn't find any socks. We have everything but socks for some reason. (Gotta do something about that - make a note, Pastor!) We had a good conversation anyway and I gave him a new Spanish Bible as he left. He seemed homesick and sad.
As I was walking back to my desk, I made the comment to Nancy that now finally I was hopefully going to be able to get back to work. No sooner did I say the words than I realized their stupidity. I was trying to get a class written about noticing the surprises of God and all the pesky surprises in my day were getting in the way!
You see my problem.
This morning we had dueling televisions blaring different channels five feet away from each other in the gym at 6AM as I was trying to read a boring book for my doctoral studies. GRRRR! Television is an evil cancer on our culture - a festering wound creeping across our chest! I fantasized evil surprises for the people interrupting my quiet. Am I honestly supposed to look for divine surprises in moments this stunningly annoying? I wasn't having any of it this morning...sorry.
LORD, I'm really going to need your help here! I really am. I know I need all this surprise stuff, but it just ain't natural for me.
Surprise me with a passion for surprises.
Amen.
[Okay...The Office does slightly redeem television.]
